Photographing My First Wedding
Weddings are stressful.
Believe it or not, the bride is not the only person that is experiencing some means of pressure on this glorious day. The husband-to-be is also feeling it. I mean, Think about it. He has to rent a tux. That includes a person getting very personal with you in the measuring process. He also has to show up to the wedding, preferably before the ceremony starts. Then he will be expected to do some walking, say a few very important words, and smile all day long. After all this, he can finally relax and enjoy a beer at the head table with his best friend. Every married woman’s eyebrow is raised at my attempt to victimize the lesser half on a typical wedding day.
Having been on the groom's side of the ceremony, I can attest to the fact that the bride is absolutely under more stress. I always had the belief that the sole duty of the groom is to simply show up. That is important, and quite honestly, though some will disagree, a necessity. Everything else you are responsible for will be thrust upon you in an ever chaotic swing of emotions and expectations. It’s just not the same as that of the bride. She has other things to think about. Things I don’t pretend to understand.
Now, it is an entirely different animal to be the photographer. Meaning, in exchange for cookies I am ultimately responsible for all the tangible memories of this exceptional day for the next (hopefully) 50+ years. The thought that pictures I take are going to be logged away in a wedding album collecting dust for decades is a bit intimidating. And in a world of social media, these same pictures will be the most viewed and commented on photos in their whole online existence. Assuming they don’t have a severely controversial and culturally sensitive take on current affairs. In that case their photos will never be seen again.
I was asked to do this thing.
To say I was enthusiastic about the opportunity to photograph a wedding would be a lie. Odd thing to say but hear me out. I genuinely wanted to do it, that was never the issue. The predicament I found myself in was, I had a strong desire to say yes along with the realization that I had no idea how to do the very thing I was saying yes to. When I was asked to be the photographer, I’m fairly certain my mouth said, ‘yes’ while every part of my being was questioning, ‘who authorized this?!’
Though another hat was tossed into the ring of potential photographers, the bride did inevitably choose me. Meaning, I needed to back up what my mouth had claimed to be competent in. The good news is I had about 2 months to prepare. That should have been plenty of time to watch YouTube videos of those who’ve ventured into this arena before me. Even more so, time to evaluate my equipment and location of the wedding.
Did I do any of this? It’s possible I spent more time tweezing eyebrow hairs than I did preparing myself for this wedding. The intention was there. Intentions of practicing portraits, watching tutorials, reading articles, anything I could think of to help make this process more seamless. Then the day came where I was talking about weekend plans with my wife and I heard those words, “Oh, but you’re shooting a wedding that day.” Right, I was a wedding photographer. The wedding is this weekend. I knew that.
No, I didn’t.
Panicking over the last minute scramble, I knew I needed two things. They went as followed:
1) A second photographer.
I simply did not have the confidence to go into this one alone. I wanted to make sure I didn’t royally screw up someone's wedding day by forgetting the memory card or shooting everything under-exposed. I knew there would be shots I missed, having a second person there gives a lower probability of those misses. Worst case scenario I would request a second camera body to have on a holster. Duel wielding DSLRs, baby.
2) A flash for my camera.
Flashes are pretty important when photographing an event, especially one that is indoors. One thing that I think surprises many non-photographers is just how bad the light is indoors. You may think it's easy to see, thus the light must be sufficient. And it may be. But for photos, your shutter speed might be so slow that everything comes out blurry or your iso is so high that grain takes over.
I was still lacking these two things less than a week before the wedding. Thank you, Amazon Prime. The flash was here within a couple days and … Wait, you can’t buy a second photographer online. Fortunately, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine who was willing to volunteer his afternoon to be a second shooter. The best news was he had photographed weddings before. However, when I re-approached him about that particular day, his tone had shifted from confidence and enthusiasm to, well, the opposite. Let me break out my book of antonyms to paint a more clear picture. He was reluctantly uncertain? Pleading some excuse of working and providing for his family, or something.
To say I was nervous at this point is polite. I was then informed that two of the bridesmaids photograph weddings on their own. The pressure is officially on. I was looking forward to doing it, however, far more looking forward to it being done. I understand there is a first time for everything. My first root canal was great, once it was done and two weeks removed. Everything leading up to it was awful and I never desire to experience it again. It’s the unknown that gets to me. And the one thing I did know is that I had no idea how this wedding will actually go.
The day arrived.
The day was a success. Meaning, by the end of the ceremony the bride and groom were a signature away from being recognized by the government as the union of two individuals. They were married. That’s all that really matters. However, the more particular of the bunch have expectations of digital stills recapping the day in all its glory. That was my job. Having been given a list in PDF format regarding all the desired photos from the day, I did my best to check off each line item. My constraints were terrible lighting, a remarkably red carpet, unfamiliarity with the location, and my second shooter arriving minutes before the ceremony began. All things considered, I accomplished what I set out to do, which was to photograph my first wedding.
Now that I’m spending the several weeks editing photos, I’m coming to realize some key takeaways as a new to wedding photographer.
1) Have a plan.
Meeting with the bridal party before the wedding day to discuss the expectations and how to orient the ceremony around the photos would have saved everyone a lot of uncertainty. Pace and spacing of the bridal party during processionals / recessional. Where the bride and groom stand. Where the bridal party stands. The spacing between everyone while up front. When it's appropriate to look at the camera. When to forget that I exist. The basics. As a slightly OCD photographer, the fact that nothing was ever centered has been a challenge. Also, you should know if there is a wedding cake or not. Somehow I missed the detail about a cake. And I love cake.
2) Take control.
Careful, Joshua. This is the bride's day. Yes, it is. And frankly the best thing you can do for that bride is to take control of the shots she wants taken. If left to the masses, you’ll get a myriad of mediocre candids and some nice shots of the basics. If you want to give your best to the bride and groom, ordering people around will be in your and their best interest. People looking at the camera when you are taking shots seems like a given. Boy is that false. Ordering people to turn, stand closer, shift to the side, look at me, look at each other, take your finger out of your nose, all these things will serve to produce better pictures.
3) Watch for details.
As a photographer of landscapes, it is very easy for me to focus on the composition of a shot. The larger shapes and how they relate to each other with the light highlighting certain elements is where I thrive. Photographing people is different and unpredictable. As I pour through the thousands of shots, I took I find things like one guy's jacket is unbuttoned, the sunshine is gone, there is a garden hose behind the groom’s leg, and how in the world is the father of the groom missing from the family shot?! Take the time to notice these details and keep people in place for as long as is needed to ensure the photos are acceptable.
4) Always be ready.
Things happen very quickly. And rarely are the things worth capturing planned out ahead of time. If you are at a wedding and don’t have your camera with you and turned on, I’m not sure you’re fulfilling your end of the bargain. A kiss here, a glance there, a groomsman shaking his rear end for the entire dance floor to partake, being ready and able to capture these will create joy and laughter for years to come.
All that to say, my first wedding as a photographer was what some would call a success. I captured many photos, and in a selfish perspective, I learned a lot. I’m hopeful that the bride and groom will be happy with the end product. I was honored to be a part of their special day, and I appreciate them giving me a chance to have my first go at it.
